Confidence building on a Sino-Japan ferry

When I was five, my mother and I travelled from Shanghai in China to Kobe in Japan by ferry. It was back in the old days when flights were considered expensive and ferry an economical alternative. It was a big move, and we didn’t know when we would return to China the next time. We had a lot of luggage.

It was, obviously, impossible for my mother to carry everything, and I helped by carrying a large bag – well, very large for a five-year-old. As we were walking with the luggage, the grown-ups around me said, “oh, what’s a good kid, carrying so much by herself!”

At that moment, the weight of the luggage disappeared like magic. My arm was no longer sore. I didn’t feel tired. “Yes, I’m a good kid!” I said to myself. “Yes, I’m doing a good job.”

A classic example of positive reinforcement, given by strangers without intention but received gratefully by a little girl wanting to grow bigger. And she did.